(onset of schizophrenia in an 18-year-old girl)
(feelings of duplication, of mechanization, and psychomotor disorder)
Could you explain to us why you admitted yourself to the psychiatric hospital?
Yes, I admitted myself to the hospital
I made an appointment because I was very nervous
At work, I couldn't type on the typewriter, and I felt distanced from people
I also felt like everyone was following me
Everywhere I went, I saw someone behind me
That really frightened me
I was very afraid of people
Why is that?
For no real reason. I was just afraid of them.
So you felt like they were following you?
Yes, that was my impression
Not necessarily in an evil way but...
When I would move my arm, I felt like all eyes were pointed in my direction
I felt threatened
By someone specific?
No, everybody
Everybody was mad at me and it scared me
Had this been going on for a long time?
Yes, for three weeks before I made the appointment here, at the hospital
Were there any other things that bothered you?
Yes, I couldn't control my fingers anymore
I couldn't wiggle them
It was like I was frozen on the spot
What does that mean?
When I tried to move, I could only move my entire body at once
It was impossible to coordinate my gestures and movements together
Was it like your body was changed?
Yes, I felt like i was split in two
I was feeling very uncomfortable
I really felt like I was splitting in two, for example when I went to work
What do you mean by splitting?
It almost felt like a dual consciousness
2 different people between when I was at work and at home
Could you elaborate?
Yes
At work i was very afraid of my boss
She was being very sweet, but I couldn't help it
I always feared her, from the beginning, even when she tried to reassure me
There was also another person I was afraid of, even though they always supported me
Unconsciously, I was scared
So much that I could no longer write on the typewriter
My fingers were stiffening
And when I tried to turn around...
I felt like...
I was inside a...
As if I were in armor
I had become an automaton